Unsung Heroes

All I did was comment on her pretty black hat... her story came flowing out. She had just made the heart wrenching decision to put her husband of thirty plus years into a care center for Alzheimer's patients . Her granddaughter had been in a car accident and died. She and her Sister were traveling across the country to attend the funeral. I wondered at her poise. In her pretty black, She looked so normal. She didn't look broken or weighed down-- but she was barely standing (figuratively speaking) the weight she had been carrying and the weight of her decision were heavy.

I looked around at the people in my world, both near and far, both intimate friends and aquaintances, both past and present... and was simple amazed at the number of people that are the primary care giver:

handicapped children-- autistic, downs, spinal bifida, ADHD, and many more. Children taking care of ill relatives: the horror of Alzhemiers disease, amputations, PIQ lines... I wondered how many other people look normal, on the outside they look "put together", and in their hearts they are carrying such burdens. Their burdens to them are like putting on your shoes just part of the day.

I find there to be a nobility of character that is often unheralded for people that day in and day out care for people that can not care for themselves in all the varying degrees of disability.

As I listened to the Women in the Black Hat, I wondered what I could possibly do to help her. Nothing. And then suddenly, I found myself hugging this small Jewish Woman in the black hat, a stranger. And telling her that angels would surround her and help her through this difficult time.

Do you remember those bracelets with,"What Would Jesus Do?" printed on them. I think of that saying as I watch people lift up their burden, of care giver. What could I possibly do that could ease their day. Or help them to feel cared for because lets be honest, they are endlessly neglected. Flowers, a meal unsolicited, a card in the mail just to let them know that I was thinking of them. I wrote this little bit of non-sense, because I wanted them to know I was thinking of them. I am moved by their love. I may not know what Jesus would do in this exact situation but I know for sure that He doesn't feel that way about the care-givers, their actions speak volumes. Caregivers may be closer to perfectly loving than they could possibly imagine.

Cloudy Thoughts

I flew into the Dallas/ Fort Worth Airport. It was July, in the middle of one of the worst heat waves of the season. And it was unusually dry... The beautiful rolling hills were parched yellow. The trees all appeared tailored with no stragglers at the base. As we were driving out of town,... I mentally wondered what part of this foreign landscape would seem familiar to me. I wanted the rolling hills to be like those of Watsonville, Steinbeck Mountains-- I always thought they looked like sleeping dragons. But, they weren't those kind. I looked up into the sky. Same blue sky. Thank heaven, that the world round, the sky has been the same to me. The cloud's shape has always been familiar, even though, thanks to my aviation weather training, I know the names of them and why they are formed; my thinking about them doesn't hold the same magic as hearing Lindsey talk about clouds in his technical dream voice. I was looking at the sky flipping through thoughts of different kinds of clouds and what they mean to different people.

The Lord was in the Cloud

"an house shall be built unto the Lord, and a cloud shall rest upon it, which cloud shall be glory of the Lord, which shall fill the house." (Doctrine and Covenants 84:5)

The clouds: a symbol of God

"[Moses] the cloudy pillar descended , and stood at the door... and the Lord talked with Moses.(Exodus 33:9)

The soft fluffy clouds that go unnoticed as we go about our daily duty.

"Then the cloud covered the tent... and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle." 40:34)

The threatening dark clouds that thunder and lightning.

"... for they have heard that thou Lord art among this people, that thou art seen face to face, and that thy cloud standeth over them, and that thou goest before them, by day time in a pillar of a cloud..."(Numbers 14:14)

The clouds that linger on the horizon. The clouds that bring rain.

"And it came to pass that when Jesus had toughed them all, there came a cloud and overshadowed the multitude that they could not see Jesus." (3 Nephi 18:38- Book of Mormon: when Jesus came to the American continent).

The sunset that paints all the clouds brilliant shades of the rainbow.

Clouds that bring rain, literally living water.

I am sure that as I have been in life's turmoil and shacking my fists at the Heavens, "Why me? Why this? Why not my way?" That I have not stopped to contemplate what kind of clouds are hovering over head. I am sure that the words to the song, "Sometimes He let's it Rain" have not softened how I feel about the situation. I am sure that as anxious of a parent as I am, that God knows what "chores" what turmoil, what classes in Character that are best for me. I am grateful for gentle showers, for foggy days, for summer thunder and lightening shows and even for the wispy clouds that fan the sky scape and make ripples like waves. I very much like the thought that God is in the clouds. It makes me feel more found and less lost.